Overcoming the Guilt of Not Doing Everything Ourselves

Many years ago, I was a young new mom that worked full time, with a loving husband that worked long hours. For the longest time after we had our baby, I tried to do everything myself: work, clean, cook, feed the baby, play with the baby, and still try to fit in some time to spend with family and friends. I was always running around, tired as every new mom, and I lived with a constant panic in the back of my head that at any moment I would drop the ball and forget to do something.

It was exhausting.

We were fortunate enough to have family that would watch our baby while we were at work, but once we got home, exhausted, it felt like there was so much that still needed to get done. I remember I would sit on my bed, holding my baby girl, day dreaming about someone coming in and telling me to just lay down, to just rest and not worry because they would make dinner, do laundry, and clean the baby’s room. I think anyone who has ever felt overwhelmed by their obligations will recognize this feeling.

We were not in a position where neither my husband nor myself could quit work and stay home full time to care for our baby girl, so, after much internal struggle, we decided to enlist the help of a cousin looking for some extra work. She would come a few days a week and help us keep the house clean and make dinner.

It was life changing.

Growing up we did not have a lot of extra money to hire someone to help us with the house, so we did the work ourselves. Perhaps it’s because of this that I had a really hard time warming up to the idea of hiring someone to do things that I thought I should be able to do. After all, I remember thinking, cleaning and cooking are pretty simple household chores that I should be able to handle on my own.

I think it’s pretty common to feel like this. Whether you live on a budget or have some money to spare, it may feel like you would be wasting hard earned money by hiring someone to come do those things for you. However, overcoming the guilt and giving my cousin’s help a chance was the best thing we could have done for us and for our daughter. The first time we came home after a long day of work and our baby was already clean, changed, and happy, dinner warm on the stove, and the house looking more radiant that we had seen it in months, I felt like I was in a fairy tale and my wish had come true. We slowly started to be ourselves again, no longer in a constant state of exhaustion and grumpiness. We were able to take our daughter out on trips to the park, the zoo, out for ice cream and the beach… it’s sad to think of all the wonderful moments we could have missed by being so preoccupied trying to meet society’s expectations of what we should be able to do. I know that not every new mom has the chance to hire someone to help them out, and because I know that, I am extremely grateful that we were able to. Years later life would deal us a different hand, which made us appreciate how fortunate we were back then even more.

Some of you have heard this before.

When I go to meet with clients for the first time, I often sense the same feeling of guilt I had all those year ago from the person sitting across from me. When this happens, I like to share my story so they know that they are not alone in feeling that way. Our services are not right for everyone. We know that. But for those that see the value of what we have to offer, we want them to know that we take what we do very seriously. Our teams are trained to spend their time in each home wisely and efficiently. In a couple of hours we will clean your home with an intensity and precision that would have taken you the whole weekend.

I want each and every one of our clients to feel like we enable them to have the time to do the things they love and spend time with those who matter to them. I know it’s hard to let go of the guilt sometimes. Even now, as I find myself working on scheduling, going to appointments, and answering emails most of the day, I have to keep reminding myself that it’s okay to ask for help when I need it so I can enjoy life and not miss out on the wonderful moments.

For me, this company is more than cleaning services. I remember the girl in her twenties with her new born baby in her arms, crying because she was exhausted, and wishing someone could come and help her do the things she had no energy or time to do. I want to be that fairy that comes in and tells you to relax, to rest, to not worry. We got you.